STORY TIME : Just got an email from one of my clients. They are selling the farm and the off-grid dream and moving back to the city.
I have to tell you this story (which I have permission to share) because so often the hurdles, barriers and excuses to making big changes in our lives – are us.
Often they are stories we have told ourselves about what the “perfect life” looks like. Sometimes they are influenced by what other people hold as true and valuable and – we strive towards that.
My dear friends, this life is your movie and you get to cut the scene and change the storyline at any time. I am giving you permission today and every day to flip the script…
We started working together about 6 or 7 years ago. We have worked on their global career as an author but also, how to get that sweet balance of lifestyle and life, time and energy, money and family right.
A few years ago they brought a dream of being off-grid farmers to me.
This client is nearing retirement. I made gentle noises about how farming is really Hard Yakka. However at the end of the day I am just a coach and a cheerleader. I would never tell someone not to follow a dream if they’re sure in that moment, that’s the dream they want. Subnote – usually if they’re brave enough they circle back and tell me I was right hehe.
Skip forward and during the pandemic they put a house on the land and planted an olive grove and for a little while it seemed like all the dreams were coming true. Their friends idolised them for the idyllic lifestyle that they perceived through social media, and generally the great Aussie battler dream of living off the land. The long-term plan was to have a tiny house community possibly or run workshops out there about sustainable spiritual things.
However, wild animals and fencing and inclement weather and feeling isolated took over. Long commutes up winding roads in the dark to see family. And a very spread out rural community that didn’t have a sense of belonging. It was a slog.
A couple of months ago we did a session around my clients’ constant feeling of having no time. She voiced a lot of concerns about how living on the farm just hadn’t worked out the way they thought. I pointed out that in the 6 years we’ve been talking – not one workshop had been put on paper. Friends when you don’t put your ideas on paper – there is something stopping you from really doing them. Hint – it’s not the logistics or the idea itself. Often it’s because you don’t really believe in it or you’re just using that as something to offer up as if “I HAVE PLANS DAMMIT”
During our last session there were so many reasons and excuses for why leaving the farm was not an option. We talked through every one methodically, but this next one was the lightbulb moment for my client.
She said “if I leave I have failed the land. The land needs us, as caretakers” … now both this client and I have bonded on spiritual matters before so I totally understand why she offered this up. But…. that is absolute bullshit. Unless you are on indigenous heritage land passed down to you by your ancestors and you are literally locking onto bulldozers to stop development happening, this is probably just a story you’re telling yourself.
At the time I just remember gently pointing out that the land has been there a very long long time, and long after we are dust … the land will also be there.
My client told me today that the way that I responded to her saying that – made her realise that she was the one making the reasons to stay. That was the moment she’d had enough of her own excuses.
The main reason she kept coming back to was “We won’t have enough money to buy anywhere else if we sell” – so the first piece of homework I set was to get the house valued. Because saying something as big & important as that needs research. Lo and behold the house is worth about 3-400 k more than they thought!!
They DO have enough money to buy in exactly the place where her and her husband will be able to retire with ease and grace. Where they will be able to be close to their family members and resources.
When I got the email today I called her immediately. I am so proud of her for facing her own excuses and realising that they were hers alone. We both agreed that the main feeling that came from this decision is “RELIEF”
Anyway, that was a long story. But this has been a long journey together and we aren’t done yet.
I’m sharing this so that you can look at some of the excuses in your life and find out if they are actually real. ARE THEY?I’m also sharing this because the work I do is way deeper, wider and longer than “business coaching”. I often don’t know how to write about this stuff because I don’t want to be relegated to the woo woo coaches. Lol. I AM YOUR LOCAL BIZNESS WITCH AND WE ARE GOING TO GET SHIT DONE, also I promise to leave your life better after.
This life is your creation. I want all of us to craft amazing movies. I am standing here with a megaphone and a floodlight waiting to help you. AND SCENE.